Dec 30, 2013

Posted by in Ramblings

Here’s the Thing. And it’s a Thing.

Here’s the Thing.  And it’s a Thing.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.  They’re pointless.  If you’re doing something you don’t want to be doing, or if there’s something you should be doing, just bloody do it.  Or stop doing it if it’s something traditional like smoking.  Why do you need January 1st to roll around to change your habits.  You’re an idiot.  Sort your life out.  Stop looking for excuses.

So, yesterday I made a New Year’s resolution.

Shut up.

So.  Here’s the thing.  I’ve been either very unbusy or very busy for most of 2013 and towards the end of the year I started writing a big new thing we’ll be working on in 2014.  But as I found myself, for a variety of reasons, doing less corporate stuff in 2013, I found there was a bit of thumb twiddling.  And I think I got a little stagnant.  And, a good many months ago now, my friend, comedian Robin Ince, who I produce The Incomplete Map of the Cosmic Genome with, started a quest to writer a blog a day.  It was about all sorts of stuff usually written at some odd hour on a broken down train or a Premier Inn with a noisy radiator.

And lately the writing of the thing has stalled somewhat.  Not Robin’s blogs, they’re relentless, my writing thing.  So I thought, that’s not a bad idea.  Just write some stuff.  Every day.  Dig out stuff from the bottom draw even.  Some days I’ll write thoughts, or plugs, or rants.  Some days they might be little short stories.  Who knows.  There’ll be a few a week at the very least.  And I don’t know who’ll read them.  Maybe no-one.  The point is to force myself to write something everyday and publish it.  Because then I’ll be in the mood to work on the other thing even when I’m not.  At least that’s the plan.  That’s the resolution.  There’s a lot on the slate for Trunkman this year, with stuff my wife and I have planned, and churning out this blog is one of them.  I’m calling it discipline.  A marketing person might call it brand awareness but they’d struggle with getting the last syllable of ‘awareness’ out because I’d have already kicked them in the face.

There’s no rules on length or subject because then I’d have to make up the rules and, well, just no.  If it’s just a ranty thing, like this, there’ll be little to no proofreading.  If it’s a story, a bit of fiction, I’ll make the effort.  I’ll be writing about, in one way or another though, one would imagine, about the things I am passionate about.  Science, reason, films, TV, theatre and motorcycle racing.   I’ve even made some categories to inspire me.  They don’t show up yet because WordPress won’t show them until I’ve done a post on that category, but trust me, they’re there.  There will be days where I imagine the audience of these posts differs greatly in size and demographic.  I’ll try to write something for each category each week.  That’s the plan.  It’s not a rule. Just a plan.  Anyway, this is presuming anyone bothers to read it at all.  But that’s not the point.  But it’d be nice.  Shouting at a wall by yourself is no fun.  Not least without being full of rum.

Let’s work out what this blog is going to be together.  And by together I mean you’ll be out there, but I’ll be doing all the work.   It makes no logical sense.  Like how the host of, say, Wheel of Fortune, waves at the camera at the end and says ‘See you all tomorrow’.  He doesn’t know if the same people are going to watch tomorrow.  And he sure as shit can’t see them.  He can only see the studio audience.  And they can’t see him.  Because of all the bright lights and their cataracts.  Actually, this used to really annoy my late grandfather.  He’d always say, ‘Why’s he say that?  He can’t bloody see me’.  But to be fair I think that was more just because he really hated Tony Barber.  But then he hosted Sale of the Century, not Wheel of Fortune.  I’m sorry, this first up anecdote is a shambles.  We’re not off to a good start.  The point is, I’ll write some stuff and I welcome your feedback.  Sorry about all the gameshow crap.

But by Christ he hated Tony Barber.  To the point he once drew a weird moustache on him with a black magic marker on the cover of the Sale of the Century board game I had.  When I saw it, as a seven year old, I was quite upset by this defacing of my game.  He didn’t understand, not why I was upset, but more why I didn’t realise how big of a dick Tony Barber was.  It wasn’t Pop’s fault.  Barber brought this grafitti on himself.  And yet that man would watch Sale every night.  Sure, there were only a few channels back then but still.  If he didn’t know the answer to a question it was preumably not due to a gap in his knowledge but because Tony Barber was a wanker.  I mean yes, he was a wanker but no more than any other game show host and much less than most to be fair.  He often did silly dances which was fine.  You’d get bored too asking accountants from Wagga what year Australia won the America’s Cup every other week.  Looking back on it he was actually a bit of a trailblazer.  I mean, who else opens a prime time gameshow by showing how his greyhound lost on the weekend.  I’m not sure it was a trail that needed blazing but what the hey.

Anyway, here’s the first post.  It’s not really about anything other than some sort of public declaration that I’m going to do a thing.  This thing.   I mean, every man and his dog has a blog these days, this is hardly anything new.  Don’t write to The Guardian and say, ‘Hey, that bloke who that play about the women in the prison with the Bible thing, yeah, well, he’s writing a blog now’.  They won’t care and they’ll probably think it’s just some old guy writing his memoirs of his recurring dreams about working on Within These Walls.  They have bigger things to worry about at The Guardian.  Like voting on 2013’s Top Troll.  I mean, really, it’s important to know which troll you should be trolling.

Anyway, that’s it for now, it’s a start.  It’s a thing.

  1. Bravo for blog numero uno!

  2. I’m a sucker for a blog! And I also think Tony Barber was a twat, so we’re on a winner here!

  3. Oscar Brechtenbach says:

    I’ll read it.

    I won’t like it- and I’ll be in the nude- but I’ll read it.

    It’s racing
    With Oscar
    On the radio
    With Oscar Brechtenbach
    It’s racing on the radio
    With Oscar Brechtenbach

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